Working in phone entertainment, I have had unique access into the minds of men. Part of the job is indulging their fantasies, although most of them have little relation to my own desires or who I really am. I have come to realize how this has been a part of my life outside of work – how much attraction from both men and women has revolved around my body looking a certain way and/or around certain sexual acts. I have grown accustomed to having my physical being sexualized by people ranging from complete strangers to the most intimate of partners.
The photos in this series of “self-portraits” are depictions of various desires that have been placed on me. While one may work towards fulfilling an individual’s fantasy, it may be right beside another image that is sexually revolting to that same person. This, along with the performance of both gender and sexuality, is meant to disrupt the fantasies. This includes the idea from previous partners who have said they do not desire me for my body, but for my personality and so on – for even they have admitted that if I had been born a male, we would only be friends or perhaps nothing at all.
Fall 2006.